Top Ten Ways to Know You're in a Small Branchby Nola Redd | More from this Blogger 12 Jul 2007 07:00 AM We recently moved out of a large ward into a tiny little branch. Granted, our old ward had a large number of young families, due to the fact that we were in close proximity of several colleges, but I never expected my son to make up half of his nursery class - and that's junior and single nursery! Contrast that with the fact that our junior nursery had well over twenty kids by December, and you can tell that we are readjusting! With that in mind, I've come up with a great list of things to help you tell you've moved into a branch and not a ward. This is, of course, assuming that you didn't look at the NAME! 1. You walk into the church building and realize that it is a converted restaurant. Or house. Or office building. Basically, any building that doesn't resemble a 'normal' church. 2. Within twenty seconds of having your records transferred, you already have a calling. It probably even has the word 'presidency' in the title. 3. You meet the branch president, and then the Relief Society president. Not surprisingly, they have the same last name, and the same kids. 4. The Young Men's president and Young Women's president are not only married to each other, but tuck in at least 50% of the youth. 5. The Seminary students actually think that getting up early for seminary would be way better than having homework after their once-a-week meeting. 6. When there are no sister missionaries in Relief Society, you sing unaccompanied. On those days, you stick to the simpler songs (like "I Am a Child of God") rather than the more complicated hymns (like "Count Your Many Blessings"). 7. No one in any of your meetings actually looks at the chorister. 8. When you tell people you are moving in, they get so excited that they start jumping up and down. They continue to do so for at least two minutes. Other indications might include "we're so glad you're here!" repeated ten times in those two minutes. 9. The only person who has just one calling is....wait, I have to think about this one...oh, yes, it's the brand new, water-still-dripping-off convert. And there may just be another calling on the horizon. 10. Your three year old and your nine year old are in the same Primary class. If you live in a ward, you may be smiling and giggling over these. Alas, with the exception of #3, all of these are true to my branch! And the only reason #3 is no longer true is because the branch president's wife was released as Relief Society president only a few months before! Branches are great in terms of the fact that everyone knows who everyone is. On the other hand, they are also like my teeny tiny college: when you skip class (or church!), everyone knows it! Related Articles: 10 Funniest Things at the Annual Ward Breakfast Ten Ways to Know You'll Never Be Relief Society President Learn more about Nola Redd  Freelance writer Nola Redd is a stay-at-home mom to three kids, with a fourth on the way. Relevantlds tags User Comments  Andrea Hermitt (5512) 12 Jul 2007 07:08 AMI have been following your posts for a while and have to admit, I need a vocabulary lesson as I know very little about Latter Day Saints. What is a ward? Nola Redd (7081) 12 Jul 2007 05:40 PMThanks for following! Latter-day Saints call the whole denomination the "church", so our individual church meeting groups are either "wards" or, if smaller, "branches". Hmm, now I have an idea for next week's humor blog! ;) Jackieacv2 (40) 13 Jul 2007 02:12 PMYou forgot one! You know you are VISITING a very small branch/ward when the RS presidency asks you if you are going to teach that day's class... ( I visit this small branch once a year for my husband's hobby, and the first time I was there, they thought I had come from the district presidency to teach the RS class! 8-) Including ME, there were five sisters in the room... I go back every year, and they already know me, welcome me, and even expect me. I usually get to offer the opening or closing prayer...new voice...hehe Nola Redd (7081) 14 Jul 2007 12:07 PMWow, visiting and you get asked to teach! They must really know you there! That's funny, Jackie! Thanks for reading & commenting! Discuss this article
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