Relief Society and Fitting Inby Miriam Caldwell | More from this Blogger 12 Sep 2006 07:20 PM I have talked to women who feel as though they just don't fit into Relief Society. One of the effects of Mormon culture is that many women feel the overwhelming urge to be perfect. Many people picture the "perfect" LDS woman as someone who cooks from scratch, has close to eight children, an immaculate house, sews all the clothes for the family, completes a new craft project every week, and still has time to serve others. The reality is that I've never met this woman. If she does exist she should be put in a museum. I think that most of the people I know look at their own inadequacies and compare them to the positive aspects of those around them. Relief Society can be intimidating because it is an easy time to look across the room and see women who have accomplished many important and wonderful things. It is also easy to discredit the things you have accomplished. Other women feel like that they just don't have the same interests as everyone else in Relief Society. Some women do not enjoy crafts or baking or sewing or cleaning. It may be difficult to get to know someone if you automatically assume that you have nothing in common. I, personally, am not a crafty person. I can sew, but not a straight seam. I despise cleaning, but I do it anyway. And the only reason I ever bake is because I have an incurable sweet tooth. Once I served on the Enrichment committee in my ward, I realized that even I had a place at Enrichment nights. In reality Relief Society is a chance for women to gather together and offer support to each other. It is a chance for friendship. It is an opportunity to serve those around you. Your smile or encouraging words may make the difference for just one sister that you speak to at a meeting. Relief Society is strengthened by the diversity of women who attend. You do not need to fit the "Molly Mormon" mold to belong. Your uniqueness can be an inspiration to those around you. Learn more about Miriam Caldwell  Miriam is a SAHM mom of three children. She has a daughter who is seven, and two sons, four and two. She loves being a parent and spending time with her children. Relevantlds tags User Comments  babydawn (7008) 13 Sep 2006 11:04 AMMiriam, this is a great article. I was just released as the Enrichment Leader for our ward, and this is a huge problem where I live. Several of our Enrichments nights (especially before the change this year), were really stressing getting to know others and trying to encourage others to get to know other sisters. We have such poor attendance at Enrichment, I think the people who did attend, were already doing what they could do and were already comfortable in the ward. It was a shame that the sisters who complained about not knowing people and not feeling comfortable, would not put forth the effort to attend the Enrichment nights. It is a great way to meet people and to socialize.  Miriam Caldwell (8030) 13 Sep 2006 05:10 PMI've come to learn that I need to extend myself in order to get to know others. I am an extremely shy person, I really am. It is so hard for me to be in social situations, especially new ones. But lately when I have brought it up to people they all seem shocked. I think the change has become as a result of my efforts to make friends and reach out. I still struggle with it on a regular basis, but I feel better knowing that people don't think I'm shy. I agree that people need to put themselves out there, and be the first one to say hello. It really isn't always easy though--at least not for me. Relief Society is a great place to do that--very seldom are you going to get a negative reaction to your offer of friendship--so it makes it easier. I think realizing that you do not need to be exactly alike to be friends is important as well. You don't need to be the same age, have the same interests, or have kids the same age to be friends with someone. Community Tags lds, Positive Self Image, Relief Society Discuss this article
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