Missionaries and Humor

by Candace Salima | More from this Blogger

15 Apr 2006 06:00 AM

I found this hysterical poem on the internet. First, let me say before I include it in my blog. Missionaries are called of God and go out to teach the world, keeping the promises of the Abrahamic covenant and serving in the best way they know how. I admire them, respect them and honor them.

That being said, check this out!

THE WAY IT IS

THE MISSION PRESIDENT: Leaps tall buildings in a single bound, Is more powerful than a locomotive, Is faster than a speeding bullet, Walks on water, Associates with God.

THE ASSISTANT TO THE PRESIDENT: Leaps short buildings in a single bound, Is more powerful than a switch engine, Is just as fast as a speeding bullet, Walks on water if the sea is calm, Talks with God.

THE ZONE LEADER: Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds, Is almost as powerful as a switch engine, Is faster than a decelerating bullet, Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool, Talks with God if special request is approved.

THE DISTRICT LEADER: Barely clears a mud hut, Loses tug-of-war with locomotives, Can fire a speeding bullet, Swims well, Is occasionally addressed by God.

THE SENIOR COMPANION: Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap tall buildings, Is run over by locomotives, Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury, Dog paddles, Talks to animals.

THE JUNIOR COMPANION: Runs into buildings, Recognizes locomotives 2 out of 3 times, Is not issued ammunition, Can stay afloat with a life jacket, Talks to walls.

THE GREENIE: Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings. Says, "Look at the choo-choo!" Wets himself with a water pistol, Plays in mud puddles, Mumbles to himself.

THE SISTER MISSIONARIES: Lifts buildings and walks under them, Kicks locomotives off the tracks, Catches speeding bullets with her teeth and eats them, Freezes water in a single glance, Knows God.

Oh come on, ya gotta laugh!

Learn more about Candace Salima

Candace E. Salima was born right smack dab in the middle of twelve children.

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mcmama (51978) 19 Apr 2006 02:40 PM

Candace, I love this. it is so appropriate to so many organizations.

Candace Salima (1604) 19 Apr 2006 03:00 PM

Isn't it though?

C.L. Beck (215) 24 Apr 2006 10:47 PM

I had a few spare moments and was drifting back through past blogs when I ran across this. What a hoot, I loved this blog! Off it goes to several friends. Thanks, Candace for posting this.

Candace Salima (1604) 29 Apr 2006 04:39 AM

I hope they all enjoy it! It had me rolling in the aisles. Well, figuratively speaking!

Nola Redd (7081) 02 Dec 2006 12:52 PM

The sister missionaries were my favorite! I was worried about them, being at the bottom of the list!