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Overcoming a Crisis in Marriage

The statistics for a divorce after a crisis in your life are overwhelming. A crisis, whether it is an internal conflict such as infidelity or something outside of your control, such as a death in the family, this is the time when your marriage may be most vulnerable. Here is some advice on how you can survive the crisis and make your marriage even stronger. Someone once told me that a crisis in life is just like a hurricane. It is large, loud, very scary and can result in injury or death. I think this is a good comparison. Hurricanes … Continue reading →

Divorcing Couple Fights Over Kidney

When conflict arises in a marriage, it sometimes leads to divorce proceedings which then leads to more conflict. For one New York couple, the fighting stems not over a home or other visible possessions, but over a kidney. Back in 2001, Dr. Richard Batista donated one of his kidneys to his wife, Dawnell. Now, these many years later, he wants it back. The wife filed for divorce in 2005, and while the divorce is still yet to be finalized, the kidney is still on the list of disputes. Dr. Batista says that in lieu of the kidney, he would accept … Continue reading →

Unrealistic Marriage Expectations

When we first get married, we have a certain set of expectations that come with us into the union. The bride has her set, the husband has his set, and the in-laws have theirs as well. Some of these expectations will be met, and many of them won’t. Let’s discuss some of these expectations. 1. The Myth: Many of us believe that temple marriage is the golden key to unlock all our marriage treasures and that nothing can befall us once we’ve been sealed. The Truth: the temple gives us the ability to be together forever, if we live righteously … Continue reading →

A Financial Planner to Save the Marriage

Following along with the rest of my blogs this week, I wanted to also visit another option for money fighting. If your relationship is having some serious financial disagreements, it may be time to call in a third party. When couples fight and can’t get to solutions, often a marriage counselor is recommended. If these fights are mostly about money, it may be better worth your time (and money!) to hire a financial planner instead. The goal of any third party in a relationship struggle is to help bring in an unemotional, uninvolved person into the couple’s battle. If this … Continue reading →

Four Tips to Help You Stop Fighting About Money

Money is a leading cause of fights and divorce in marriage. It can be a difficult subject to negotiate. Many times couples will harbor resentments and blame over the years. It is important to work on your finances as a team. It is also important to have equal accountability and responsibility when it comes to finances. If you and your spouse fight constantly about money here are a few easy steps to help things run smoother. 1) First you both need to come clean and share any past financial mistakes or purchases that you are hiding from each other. This … Continue reading →

Fighting About Money Doesn’t Fix the Problem

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Money. Money. Money. It’s the guilty party in most marriages when it comes to fighting with your spouse. Whether you talk about your finances, pool your resources or leave it to one spouse or the other to manage it – money is a huge bone in the midst of any relationship. If you’re thinking that money is one of the leading causes of divorce, you’d be right. So How Do You Deal With It? Financial issues are the pink elephant in the middle of your marriage. But you have to recognize that fights about money aren’t just about money. Those … Continue reading →

Money Decisions and Marriage

How are financial decisions made in your family? In some relationships the money is divided into yours, mine and ours. The husband and wife each contribute part of their salary to the household pot, and then they keep the rest. While this may work for some people, it would cause a great deal of stress in my life. Is there one spouse in your relationship whose vote counts more when it comes to saving and spending money? Or are you an equal team when it comes to making serious financial decisions? Does it matter if your spouse makes more money … Continue reading →

Marriage Fights: Communication

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Over the last two weeks, I’ve done a series of articles based on the top four causes of marriage fights and divorce. All four of these disagreements stem from one essential problem in a relationship: lack of communication. When you and your spouse communicate and work together, the relationship runs smoother. But when you choose to work separately, you pull in different directions instead of as a team, and the wagon breaks apart. Let’s quickly review the four causes we touched on. First, money. When the two of you sit down and decide on your financial goals, and devise a … Continue reading →

General Conference From the Past: The Enriching of Marriage

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In a General Conference talk given in October 1977, entitled “The Enriching of Marriage”, Elder James E. Faust of the Presidency of the First Quorum of the Seventy outlines a variety of methods to avoid divorce by growing and strengthening our marriages. Elder Faust first tells the story of a woman who received a justified divorce, by his reckoning. Several years later, the woman told him that, had she known then what she knew ‘now’, she would have remained in the marriage. He goes on to cite the statistic that, as he gave his talk, for every 100 marriages in … Continue reading →

Marriage Fights: Money

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Money fights are one of the biggest problems in marriages today. Financial counselor Dave Ramsey teaches that this is because how we spend our money reflect our values, and whether or not we have the same goals. For instance, if one spouse values saving for retirement while the other would rather have a new boat now (and spends the money intended to go into the retirement account), there is an obvious conflict. And since a large portion of LDS families are larger than the national average, with more stay-at-home moms (and thus tighter budgets), it is easy to understand why … Continue reading →