Marriage Fights

by Nola Redd | More from this Blogger

21 May 2007 09:00 AM

For the first part of this and next week, I would like to explore the top four reasons given for divorce in America today. Why should this matter to those of us sealed in the temple, who have no intent of leaving our spouses? First, because the sad truth is that divorces in temple marriages and LDS families are on the rise. Second, because if most couples in America are fighting over the subject, the odds are good that it is a source of contention in LDS homes, as well.

Marriage is a wonderful blessing, but it can be awfully difficult. It would be nice if the simple act of a sealing ceremony automatically unified us with our spouse, but it doesn't. We all have problems at some point; no marriage is perfect, just like no person is perfect. The trick is overcoming those problems.

Many times, the root of the issue isn't even the problem. For instance, the number one cause of divorce in America is money fights and money trouble. However, even if you gave these couples a million dollars, their problems would not be solved. Christian financial counselor Larry Burkett used to say that money is not the problem, it is the symptom. In most cases, communication is the problem.

The prophets have counseled us to have at a minimum a monthly date night with our spouse, if not a weekly date night. As a young couple with four small children, my husband and I are reaching the point where the cost of the babysitter will soon equal or exceed the cost of the date! Our bishop suggested that we make sure we put the kids to bed on Friday night and do something simple, like splurge on ice cream and watch a movie on the couch holding hands. Since ice cream was involved, my husband readily agreed! We should also be counseling together as a couple over decisions for our family (not on our dates). Doing these things will greatly improve our communication and help alleviate the stress and strain of marriage.

All of that aside, of course, we will still fight and disagree. We are (or should be) two separate people with two separate sets of thoughts and feelings. So as we look at the top four causes of fighting and divorce from an LDS perspective, let's see what we can do to improve our marriages!

Related Articles:

Working Through the Difficult Times in Your Marriage

The Atonement and Forgiveness in Marriage

Being of One Purpose

Courting Your Spouse

Learn more about Nola Redd

Freelance writer Nola Redd is a stay-at-home mom to three kids, with a fourth on the way.

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