Gospel Questions: What's Up with Large Families?

by Tristi Pinkston | More from this Blogger

06 May 2008 01:21 PM

My non-member friend asked me:

Why do Mormons have so many kids? If I become a Mormon, do I have to have more kids?

When Adam and Eve were placed in the Garden of Eden, they were told to multiply and replenish the earth. Mormons believe that this commandment has never been repealed, and we do have families that are statistically larger than the norm. However, this is not across the board. Some families have two children, others have thirteen, and some couples have not been able to have children at all.

The family is central to our Heavenly Father's plan. We are placed in family units to help us prepare for eternal life-in Heaven, we will live together as families. As we learn to interact with each other here on Earth, we are being prepared to live in love and harmony in the hereafter.

Additionally, there are a great many spirits yet waiting in Heaven for their turn to come to this earth. We believe that we came to this earth to be tested to see if we will remain faithful to the Lord when we are out of his presence. There are others who are still waiting that same opportunity. As we have children, we are giving them that shot at exaltation as well.

Now, to address the second half of the question. Converts to the Church are not told to start having more children. This is a decision they make on their own. Some couples are physically and emotionally able to handle a large family. Other couples are only able to handle a few. We are counseled to have as many children as we can without endangering the emotional or physical welfare of the mother. If she isn't able to cope with having a large family, she shouldn't feel as though she has to have a large family. It's a personal decision from couple to couple. There is no quota.

We don't take finances into consideration when we think about the number of children we should have. It's been promised, and I've found this to be true, that there are ways provided to financially support our children. We have four, and we want to have one more. We're not rich by any means, yet we always seem to have enough to care for our children. I believe that will continue even as we have a fifth. But I know that for me, five will be my limit. I'm not one of these thirteen-child-moms, and I'm not being pressured to have more than I feel I can.

Related Blogs:

Marriage Between a Man and Woman is Ordained of God

Why Is It So Hard to Be a Mother?

Learn more about Tristi Pinkston

I've been a blogger for Families.com since August of 2006.

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Lisa P (24013) 08 May 2008 01:14 PM

Five kids? You are a phenomenal woman! I'm tapped out with my two boys! :-)

adelinesdad (10) 12 May 2008 07:57 PM

We don't take finances into consideration when we think about the number of children we should have.

I agree with most of your post, but I find this statement a bit of an oversimplification. While it's true that we believe that we should not delay having children to satisfy selfish financial desires, but I wouldn't say finances shouldn't play any role in our decision making. Here's a quote from Elder Oaks:

How many children should a couple have? All they can care for! Of course, to care for children means more than simply giving them life. Children must be loved, nurtured, taught, fed, clothed, housed, and well started in their capacities to be good parents themselves. Exercising faith in God’s promises to bless them when they are keeping his commandments, many LDS parents have large families. Others seek but are not blessed with children or with the number of children they desire. In a matter as intimate as this, we should not judge one another.

It is interesting he listed fed, clothed, and housed as important things to consider, which all involve finances. If I were asked to give advice to a new member regarding family size, I'd tell them that we view children as a blessing and an important part of life for those who are blessed to have them, but when and how many is a decision to be made by the couple, seaking guidance from God. What are valid or invalid considerations are entirely up to the couple. Far be in from me to tell someone who struggles to feed or clothe their children that they should have more.

I'm not trying to be argumentative, just want to make sure we're not misunderstood on this, since it is such a sensitive topic.

adelinesdad (10) 12 May 2008 07:59 PM

Sorry, I guess blockquotes don't work in the comments. The first sentence of my comment should have been quoted.

Tristi Pinkston (10839) 13 May 2008 10:17 AM

I agree with you completely. Finances are definitely a consideration in having a family. However, we take a great many things into account when we choose our family size, finances being only a part of it.