Gospel Questions: What If I Want to Leave the Church?

by Tristi Pinkston | More from this Blogger

22 Oct 2007 02:42 PM

Of course it saddens us greatly when a member of the Church decides they don't want to be a member any more. We believe that the source of true happiness is from having a close relationship with our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. We believe that our religion most closely mirrors the Church as originally set up by Jesus Christ Himself while He was on the earth. When someone decides to separate themselves from the Church, we sorrow at all they might be missing. However, we do not force them to remain a member.

I have heard stories of those who have left the Church only to have church leaders come after them to drag them back, using force and threats. Most of these stories have been related on the Internet or talk shows by persons I have never met. I have never personally heard of this happening. If it were to occur, it would be carried out on an individual basis by one corrupt leader, and not sanctioned in any way by the Church. Any Church leader who would behave in such a way is acting on their own and will be dealt with in a church disciplinary court. The Church never forces a member to stay. If you want to leave, all you have to do is tell your bishop, and he will see to it that your name is removed from the records. It's as simple as that.

Now, I can't promise that you'll be safe from concerned visiting teachers and home teachers. Every attempt will be made to help you feel more comfortable and to answer your questions. But if you explain that you feel good about your decision, you will be left alone and you will not be forced into staying. The Lord is bound by the rules of free agency, just as we are. He cannot force anyone - He gives us choices and allows us to decide for ourselves. This is the whole pattern upon which the Plan of Salvation was built. It is absolutely contrary to the will of God that anyone be forced into doing something they do not want to do.

Related Blogs:

Seeking Out the Lost

Brought Back Into the Fold

Strengthening the Less Active

Learn more about Tristi Pinkston

I've been a blogger for Families.com since August of 2006.

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Lisa P (24013) 02 Nov 2007 12:35 PM

I know someone who converted fairly recently but now she doesn't attend church services and she's resumed smoking, drinking and coffee. She's been going through some pretty heavy physical and emotional issues too. How would you help somebody who was going through all of that?

Tristi Pinkston (10839) 02 Nov 2007 10:09 PM

The very first thing I would do would be to help her reconnect with the feelings of the Spirit that first inspired her to convert. Then, using that Spirit, I would ask her to pray earnestly about her own individual worth and to seek confirmation through prayer of just how very much she is loved by our Heavenly Father. I believe that we all go through severe trials in our lives, and that it's the relationship we develop with Heavenly Father that sees us through them. He truly does love us so much, and once we get a testimony of that fact, everything else has an easier time falling into place.

Miriam Caldwell (8030) 03 Nov 2007 06:24 PM

If she is not going because she feels that she can't because of the drinking, smoking and coffee, then I would urge her to continue going. It is important to continue to attend church, even when we are struggling with issues in our lives. In many ways it is more important to attend then. If she is struggling with her testimony, I'd encourage her to read her scriptures and to pray. If she does this every day with an open heart she will know what she needs to do. The Lord loves all of His children no matter what. Also she may need to consider counseling for the emotional issues--a good counselor can help her to work through her feelings in a positive manner.

Tristi Pinkston (10839) 03 Nov 2007 07:32 PM

Great advice, Miriam -- you know, Lisa, without knowing her specific issues, it's hard to say, but I do truly hope that regardless of what decisions your friend makes concerning the church, she feels good about her decision and has peace. Of course, I find my peace through the gospel and would hope that she would choose that path too, but free agency is one of God's gifts to us and I can't make anyone do anything. (This doesn't keep me from wanting to, though. :)